Mama Conflicted

Deep in play.

Today was one of those interesting days that you don't quite see coming and leave you totally confused. Just when I had come accustomed to being a homeschooling Mom, just when I am amazed at how our rhythm is forming and our children settling in - I get a call to go back to work. But on my terms. Remotely. Left me totally confused. On the one side it would definitely interrupt our day and make homeschooling difficult but it might bring balance to our family overall and a boost in finances. Plus I wouldn't be starting over, I would working with my existing client base. Could I do this calmy and without stress? Can I gain control of my schedule? Tune in tomorrow...

Oolala!

This Mam was about to loose it seriously. I have been nonstop with the little guys, add in a trip to a road trip to NY - me and them for a month, and normal (ok an extraordinary amount of stress) and I was destroyed. Heart flutters. A lot of saying, "yes, I am fine - oh just ignore my eye twitching uncontrollably!"
I was coming undone. But I decided to take charge and went to the Korean Spa. If you don't know about them, I will sum it up in 3 ( ok 7) words - Cheap, Awesome, You Can Take A Nap.
Every Mom's Fantasy.
There is a lot of guilt that came with the decision to go, however sometimes we need to take care of ourselves. That means you Mama!
You lucky NYC'ers have the ultra amazing Spa Castle.  But Jeju is just as good.
Run. Don't walk. Remember - we can nurture, if we don't nurture ourselves!

Trying to be everything to everyone.

Wow. Today I was ready for the day to come to a close and my children to go to sleep.
My older son is fighting sleep - so I actually gave up trying to get him to sleep and left him to his own devices (the next room.) Since he was an infant he has had sleep issues and if we don't parent him to sleep the more likely he is to wake up. But our little one is teething and I need some me time!

We just started homeschooling after our month long trip - 2 weeks in NYC, and two weeks in transit.

It was mainly just me and the kids! What a learning experience. I have been home with them for a year now - making work a much lower priority, and there we were back in the city, needing to put work first.
It felt completely out of sync. I enjoy a healthy work life, but where will my path take me next?

Since we are homeschooling there isn't a whole lot of time for anything else.

Waldorf kindergarten is focused on rhythm, and it is my utmost goal to get it together. It is definitely a big challenge for us. We do have a rhythm - but schedule is a whole other can of worms. Not to mention my husband's work schedule is complicated! And that throws a wrench in.

Looking forward to looking back two months from now!

Babies.

I just returned from an adventure with my two boys (more on that later.) But today my heart is thinking babies. A gentle heartstring tug. I feel pretty complete - but as I looked at Facebook, I saw a friend's page. And I thought of the intense pain ( I had a homebirth) and the intense beauty. For me the fear and memory is only just beginning to fade, but isn't it amazing how it does. And you hold on to just the beauty. It is truly a miracle. It is also ridiculous that there are places that are illegal to have a homebirth. Like Georgia. Really?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFLzxdZG30Q&feature=share

I won! I won!

Lucky me! I actually won a ticket to the Holistic Moms Natural Living Conference. Now I just need to get there! I have until Saturday October 1st to make it to Irvine or maybe this ticket will be gifted along.
I am thrilled!

Washed Away...

Today I send my thoughts to friends - known and unknown, living in Vermont and elsewhere who as of now have lost everything. I hold space for you to rebuild. I send love and strength and I send support as you travel through this mourning process.

Wooden Toy Bonanza!

Okay - maybe not a bonanza, but how about big discounts? Magic Cabin is offering 20% off their wooden toys. Wooden toys are expensive but definitely worth it. They offer a lot of great stuff, but what I am most excited about is the set of Tegu Blocks. I had the pleasure of playing with them while visiting friends. They truly combine two of my favorite play items - magnets and wood. The sale also includes the extremely popular Skuut Bike  and Plan City toys (we love the crane!) And the list goes on. Check out the sight, you really you can't go wrong.  Enter code MCNAT2.

Tree Fort - Love it - Endless hours of play!