Diplomacy for Dummies

Hey. Let's Talk about it!

Wow that title sounds insulting. It doesn't mean to be - really! I hate confrontation, ruffling feathers arguments, negativity. They just fill up a useful part of my brain with useless feelings. I hold on to things, and it takes me years to process them out.
When I was much, much younger I would find myself thinking about comeback lines for an argument three days earlier. By that time the other person had generally forgot. But not me. Not only would it still be fresh in my mind, but I still would feel bad about it. Let Go, lady!
It took me years to turn the tables from being a victim to being in charge of my own life and own my actions. I have actually changed my complete way of being in this sense and own it. In my business life I was always having to solve difficult situations and it brought into balance many things.
I am honest. Extremely honest. At least when it comes to actions. If I get the wrong change in my favor, or the cashier misses something while checking me out, I must correct it immediately. Even if I am 40 minutes away when I realize it has happened.
I always give people the benefit of the doubt. It works to my favor often and I prefer it that way. But people can interpret it as my being of lesser intelligence - LOL! or weakness or naivete.  In actuality, I am often just actively listening with an open heart. I am very sensitive and it is easy for me to get carried away, which is also a reason I try to keep quiet at times.
Right now we are seeing turmoil unfold before our eyes. It feels like we are on the brink. Emotions are high. Emotions. Emotions can completely do away with diplomatic relations. Regardless of who/ what is wrong or right. Once emotions become involved our rational mind is no longer in charge.
I am on a mission to come up with ways both obvious and obscure to make myself a more compassionate and truly diplomatic communicator. It starts with one person, right?
So back to this blog post title...I would like to identify some simple steps that I can actively take in my relationships with family, friends and relations, colleagues, the bus driver, that clerk at DMV... so that I can step forward every day open and strong and ready to make the world a better place.
So for today, let's start with a few old stand by's -
Count to ten before answering. Do we really ever do this? I think I will turn it into breathe in and out deeply before responding. I was given a nice little mantra - "may I have clear thoughts, kind words, and a warm heart." Forgive me I do not know who it is from.
Picture yourself in the shoe's of others. Yes those well tread loafers with the tassels. You might never wear them. But what does it really feel like to be on the other side of your rant on the economic downturn. You always have the right to speak your truth, but we also must take responsibility for how our truth may impact others.
Honesty vs. Compassionate Honesty - We need to be honest without being judgemental. And when we make statements about others, we really need to be clear as to whether we are being honest or just projecting.
And lastly for today...drum roll please...never say "I told you so." We can thank George and Martha , James Marshall (and Gavin for reminding me) for teaching us this extremely invaluable lesson. Though Martha ignored George's suggestion to wear sunblock, he helped her care for her sunburn instead of telling her, "I told you so." That is love.
So maybe George and Martha is far from the world stage but maybe if we can make peace in our lives every day it can translate in a small way to the bigger picture. After all wouldn't we rather have smiles than frowns?